That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
