Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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