My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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