Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
