She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
