We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
