So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
