final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
