My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
