sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
