Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
