Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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