So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
