whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
