and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
