Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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