What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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