Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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