Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Nicole vs. Life
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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