in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
