she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
