My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
