Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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