There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
