we have pet lesbian snakes
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
