never play flip cup with pint glasses
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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