honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just had sex bonerless
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
