Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i now understand why vodka
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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