and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we're chasing vodka with high fives
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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