he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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