at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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