Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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