Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
