I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
