just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
