Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
