butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
