i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
