I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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