White coat. Heels.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
