hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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