i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
