Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
