The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
