There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
