Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
