Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
