Having a random hookup so left but love u
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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