Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
