Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
