Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
